Life is good

Things are great with Joe. I am so glad we found each other. We make a really great team.

Yesterday, I was told that my job at Border's is over after today. It will be nice to just spend time at home until school starts. After school starts, I think I will get a job on campus or similar in order to have some mad money of my own. Well, really, to pay bills that I don't feel comfortable dropping into the household budget.

Tonight we are going to my Dad's for New Year's Eve. My sister and her family will be there. Tomorrow, my step-brother and his family will arrive.

It will be nice to just relax and spend time with the people I love. Joe has today and tomorrow off, which is very rare. I finally feel like a grown up and part of a family of my own. I've never felt that with anyone I dated before. I really do feel like Joe and I are a very complimentary combination. Yay Us!

I feel shitty... oh so shitty....

I totally screwed up. I wasn't thinking and I made a terrible mistake and lost someone's trust. I take total responsibility for what I did, and they have every right to be angry. I just hope that with time and through my actions this is salvagable.

The Legend of Bluebeard

Something reminded me of this story this week...

I always wondered about this story. In it, a woman is to be punished for her curiosity but is saved by her family. Her husband, is painted as the fiend. What is the moral of the story, though? Curiousity is healthy? Don't trust your husband? Don't "obey" your husband? What do you think?

The Legend of Bluebeard

ONCE UPON A TIME, there was a wealthy man who owned a grand estate. His home was filled with the finest riches and he himself was a grand specimen of man. But the man was cursed with a blue beard that made his visage so terrible that there was not a woman or a girl who
upon seeing him would not flee with fright.

One of his neighbors, a widow, had two beautiful daughters. Bluebeard asked for the hand of one in marriage and left it up to the widow to choose. Neither of the girls wanted to marry Bluebeard. One of the things that most frightened the young women was that Bluebeard had taken seven wives before this and no one knew what had happened to
them.

To sway them, Bluebeard invited the family to his estate in the country so that they could come to know him and to love him. They remained in his home for a week and a day and everyone spent the visit in enjoyable pastimes. Finally, Fatima, the younger and more beautiful of the two daughters, began to find that Bluebeard was not so terrifying. As soon as they returned to the city, Bluebeard and Fatima were wed.

Soon, Bluebeard told his wife that he had an important business trip. He suggested she leave the city and return to the country estate with her sister. "Here," said Bluebeard, handing her keys to the estate. "This is the key to my safe, where I have stored my gold and my precious stones. And here is a key that opens every room in the estate.

"But this small key," Bluebeard said, his face suddenly turning stern, "is the key to the closet at the end of the basement. Open any room you wish, but do not venture into the basement and unlock that closet." The
husband drew his wife near to him, so close she could feel the bristles
of his blue beard. "If you should ever open it," he said. "Then you shall feel my wrath." Fatima promised to obey this simple wish. They embraced, and Bluebeard left.

The dust from his carriage wheels was barely settled when, with the curiosity that comes with youth, Fatima took the key and rushed to the basement, determined to find what lay behind the closet door. Seized with curiosity, she reached the basement and crossed to the imposing
cabinet. It was not a piece of furniture in the usual sense, but was a door built into the stone wall of the cellar, thick as a tree trunk and sturdy as a bull.

Fatima stood there in front of the door for some time, thinking about the words her husband had left with her. But Fatima was too curious and the temptation that filled her head was stronger even than her fear of Bluebeard. She took the small key and with trembling hand opened the door.

At first she could not see anything. But soon her eyes began to adjust to the dim light and she was able to see the contents of this terrible place. The room was like an abattoir; the floor was awash in curdled blood and in the blood lay the bodies of the seven wives of Bluebeard. Their throats had been cut from ear to ear.

Stunned, Fatima dropped the key into the blood on the floor. When she regained her senses, she recovered the key and quickly left the room, fleeing as though Bluebeard himself pursued her. Fatima saw the key was stained with blood and tried to clean it. But the key was a magic key and it would not be cleansed. No matter how hard she wiped, the blood did not go away. She washed it in bleach, but the stains would not fade. She scrubbed it with the roughest brush from the kitchen, but still the blemish remained on the key. Even sandstone would not remove the horrible taint.

As the fates would have it, Bluebeard returned from his voyage that evening, having learned that his business affair had been resolved in his favor. With great joy he returned to his beautiful wife.

Fatima was pale with fear as Bluebeard entered their rooms and she
shivered as he took her hands. "Why do you tremble at my touch, madam?" the treacherous husband asked. "My lord, it is not fear, but gladness," Fatima replied. "I have missed you so that my heart was filled
with the cold of longing. But now that you are returned to me, I quiver with joy."

"I see," said the murderous Bluebeard. "And have you my keys?" "Why yes, husband." "I am going down to warm myself by the fire. Bring them to me there," said Bluebeard, leaving poor Fatima alone in her chamber.

In desperation, she hid the magic key in among her clothes and went to return the others to her husband. "Tell me, my beloved. Why is the key to the basement cabinet not with the others?" He asked. "My Lord, it must be there," poor Fatima avowed, knowing her words to be false. "Wife! It is not here. Fetch it for me, now." Bluebeard's voice rose in anger. Fatima left the hall and returned to her chambers, taking the key from whence she had hidden it. "Why," he asked in a voice that chilled her to her bones. "Why is there blood on this key?" "I do not know anything of it!" cried the girl, paler than death. "You do not know anything of it," Bluebeard roared, taking his wife by the wrist. "But I know it well! You wanted to enter the cabinet. Well then, madam, you will enter there and take your place with the ladies that you saw there!" Fatima threw herself at the feet of the perfidious Bluebeard and cried out for forgiveness.

Her pleas should have softened a rock. But Bluebeard had a heart harder than stone.

"Give me a little time to make my peace with God, since it is necessary that I die," she begged."I give you a quarter hour, but no more," he said, leaving her in her chamber.

Fatima called to her sister, Anne. "I pray you, go to the top of the tower, to see whether our brothers come; they promised to visit me, and if you see them, make signs to them to hasten," said poor Fatima. Soon Bluebeard called her to come down to him and accept her fate.

"Anne, my sister, don't you see anything coming?" Fatima pleaded to her
sister. "I see," answered Anne, "two riders who are coming this way, but they are still far away." "God be praised," wept Fatima. "They are my brothers. Tell them to hasten."

Now Bluebeard cried out in a voice loud enough to shake the entire house and Fatima was left with no other course but to go down to
him. Outside the house, Fatima again threw herself to the ground.

"That does not serve you well, woman," growled the man as he pulled her up by her hair. "It is necessary that you die."

His hand came down to slice, but before the blade touched her alabaster throat, the gate to the chateau opened. Bluebeard saw two riders approaching with swords in hand. The coward recognized them as his wife's brothers and he dropped his wife and fled for his life. But
the brothers continued to chase him and upon catching him, ran him through with their swords and left him for dead.

When they returned to their sister, she was near death, but with the help of their sister Anne, they revived fair Fatima. It turned out that Bluebeard had no heirs, so his fortune was left to Fatima. She used some of it to make a dowry for her sister, Anne, who married a man she had loved for a long time. Fatima used another part to reward her
brothers, and the rest she kept for herself.

Fatima later married a strong, good man, and in time, they filled the estate with children, the fiend Bluebeard was soon forgotten and they all lived happily ever after.

"La Barbe bleue", from Contes de ma mère l'oyeTales
of Mother Goose By Charles Perrault (1697). Translated by Mark C. Gribben

I found several "morals" to the story on the internet. These are from Pitt.edu:

Moral: Curiosity, in spite of its appeal, often leads to deep regret. To the displeasure of many a maiden, its enjoyment is short lived. Once satisfied, it ceases to exist, and always costs dearly.

Another moral: Apply logic to this grim story, and you will ascertain that it took place many years ago. No husband of our age would be so terrible as to demand the impossible of his wife, nor would he be such a jealous malcontent. For, whatever the color of her husband's beard, the wife of today will let him know who the master is.

And from umich.edu:

The first moral expresses the idea that a maiden's curiosity will cost her.

The second moral deals with modern women showing their husbands who’s really
the master.

I am thinking that in my own personal experience.... the first lessons of each group are the one's I've had to learn.

3. Volunteer for Big Brothers/Big Sisters

Progress report on 101 Things to do in 1001 Days

I received the paperwork for Big Brothers/Big Sisters and am going to an orientation meeting in the middle of January.

1. Arrange and attend a 4 week immersion program for French Language.

Progress Report on 101 things to do in 1001 days!

I have sent in my deposit and bought my plane ticket. I will attend the immersion trip on May1-May30, 2005!

New Haircut

Tonight I went to Douglas J Aveda Institute and got a haircut from Jill....

I think it looks great, don't you?

Sometimes you feel like a nut

Does anyone else do this? When a person starts to tell me something, in my mind, I jump ahead and start anticipating how I can a) Fix the problem b) Formulate a fantastic answer c) Plan a strategy to complete whatever task is being asked of me. Often, I will start answering the question before the person is finished asking it. I have this incredible need to be efficient and fantastic. I think I touched on the whole perfection thing during my OA work, (did you see my grades this semester?) but I certainly think there is more work to do. The whole "doing a good job" thing only seems to apply when I am doing something for someone else. Often, I will just "that'll do" when it comes to doing things for myself. For some reason, the biggest crime I feel I can commit is being selfish. However, if I don't look out for myself and take care of myself, who else can/will?

All the sudden I am verrrry tired. I could practically fall asleep right here at my desk. Nope.. can't do that, because now I have to run to the bathroom... darn effects of drinking water like you are supposed to!

Fall Semester Final Grades

Appl Music Voice
B+

University Choir
A

Functional Piano
A


American Government
A-

French Level 2
A

GPA this semester: 3.8

Quebec City, here I come!

It's official! I sent in my deposit to go to Quebec City for a 4 week immersion class in French. I am sooo excited. If I feel like paying for the credits, it will count for one of my french classes. However, I think I should continue in the program at Eastern and just count this as extra.

I have having a fun little time listening to Launch Cast on yahoo while I am at work. I love how you can rate the songs and it will tailor the playlist to the things you like. Fun Fun. Right now.. listening to "Work It" by Missy Elliot... bouncing around in my chair here in my cube. Hee hee.

Anyway.. back to the French thing...

I will be there from May 2- May 30! I also noticed something really cool on their site. They can coordinate so that you can work in France. It looks so interesting. I wonder if that's something I could do sometime during the summer or similiar. I've always wanted to live/work in France. Here is the link. WORK IN FRANCE

Today I took my last exam of the semester - yahooooo-eeee

Keep your fingers crossed for ALL A's!!!

101 things to do in 1001 Days

I was browsing blogs today and saw a cool one about 101 things to do in 1001 days. I think I will do something similiar. Mine will start on January 1. Some of these things will be obvious as I've already posted about them, but it feels good to check things off a list, doesn't it? If I do any of these things before the new year, I must add an item to replace it.

1. Arrange and attend a 4 week immersion program for French Language.
2. Write 3 letters of thanks relating to a good product or customer service .
3. Volunteer for Big Brothers/Big Sisters
4. Take a picture of Joe and I together
5. Pay off Dell account (and stop buying more computer stuff with it!)
6. Visit Mackinaw Island
7. Go 48 hours without using a computer
8. Go for a week without drinking diet coke
9. Learn to play something "Mozart" on the piano
10. Buy Carmina Burana sheet music and learn Soprano solo and chorus parts
11. Learn Spanish
12. Organize and make payment plans re: medical bills
13. Loose 25 pounds
14. See Spamalot in Chicago
15. Visit a beach
16. Get a massage
17. Crochet a blanket for Samara
18. Plan a nice dinnner and make it for Joe - complete w/ tablecloth, napkins, etc...
19. Play Pictionary with Dad, Sue, Joe
20. Visit Manhatten w/ Joe
21. Go to a wine tasting
22. Properly hook up our home/wireless network
23. Take the train somewhere
24. Clean out my car 100%, including the box of random crap in the trunk.
25. Grow my hair to my shoulders at least
26. Take vitamins every morning for a month
27. Organize clost
28. Organize spare room
29. Floss daily for a week
30. Practice violin once a week for a month
31. Learn yoga exercise to do before school each day and do so everyTuesday and Thursday of winter semester (or more)
32. Go to see a stand-up comedian live
33. Go to the DIA, alone, and take my time
34. Go to karaoke
35. Use the library instead of buying a book
36. Send my parents flowers for no reason
37. Learn how to copy DVDs at home (I think Joe has a burner, if not... get one)
38. Try lobster
39. Send postcards to people even if not on vacation
40. Add family stories to Family Tree
41. Leave secret love notes every day for a week
42. Learn how to drive a motorcyle
43. Make all A's in my winter classes
44. No TV for 24 hours
45. Make a scrapbook out of European travel items (maybe get Sue's help)
46. Make one new dessert recipe each month
47. Donate blood
48. Get a facial
49. Go to church - any church
50. Kiss Joe at midnight on New Year's Eve 2005 (and 2006, and 2007)
51. Arrange and attend a 4 week Spanish Language Immersion trip
52. Get Engaged
53. Get Married
54. Graduate College
55. Get a teaching job
56. Get towels, a bathmat and rug for the bathroom
57. Bake bread from scratch
58. Blog everyday for a month
59. Meet Joe's family
60. Go canoeing
61. Get a new suitcase
62. Change the address on my drivers license
63. Dance around my living room naked
64. Give someone a piggyback ride or vice versa
65. Quit my job
66. Start quilting
67. Go to Hawaii
68. Make Chocolate Chip Pancakes
69. Have chocolate fondue with strawberries, pineapple, apples with champagne for dinner
70. Go to the Yellow Pages and pick the seventh restaurant - eat the seventh entree and order the seventh dessert
71. Times Square on New Year's Eve
72. Document all these tasks with my digital camera
73. Learn how to change my car's oil and do it myself
74. Go to the Renaissance Festival or the Shakespere Festival
75. See Little Shop Of Horrors at the Fischer Theatre in June 2005
76. Visit Greenfield Village
77. Learn to meditate
78. Get a nice fitted black dress for all needs, knee length

Looking at people from the cab of a freightliner

227

Should I be happy or sad that there hasn't really been much to write about recently? Any drama that has gone on in my life is of the private sort that I am glad has been dealt with already. (Growing pains within co-habitation and relationship)

The other day, Joe and I took my Dad with us in the big tanker. Talk about memories! My Dad was a truck driver while I was growing up and it was really cool to sit on the bunk and hang out with him. Dad was like a kid in a candy store. I know he really misses driving truck. This little story does lead me to a point of contention I have with people. When I tell people that my new boyfriend drives a truck, I get a look from many as if I must be dating some kind of low life. Why is it that truckers have this reputation? My father is the most decent man I've known in my life, as well as my grandfather who was a farmer and owned a trucking company. I've always known them to be good, upstanding and morally strong people. I suppose one bad apple and all that jazz. I have to admit... I come from a family that gets many double takes.

For example: My Grandma Moore owns a motorcycle shop. (Cycle Moore - Interlochen, MI) My grandfather is one of the best mechanics in Michigan. I grew up helping at swap meets and and biker round ups. These days, it's posh to have a Harley. When I was growing up, I remember telling someone about my Grandma and they would always ask: "How many tattoos does she have?" incidentally, this repectable, college educated, perpetual girl scout has 3 tattoos while my Grandma still has none!

My family has had it's fair share of unwanted newspaper coverage as well. Last year, a member of my immediate family got involved in one of those Nigerian Internet Scams. They had to go to jail for a while and then were on house arrest via phone tether. It was all over the news in their town.

If anything, my family is colorful and makes for good times when we get together. Remind me to tell you some of the standards about my Dad sometime!

Sweet escape

227
Breakfast - BEC buscuit/hashbrowns Lunch - Salad and a Twix

Whoo hoo... only a week and 2 exams left of this semester!!


This way out....
.
(at least until January 6)

Happy Birthday John Duffy Dunn!

227
breakfast - BEC biscuit and hashbrowns, Lunch - sandwich, doritos and Reeses

It's my Dad's birthday and Joe and I are going to visit my Dad tonight after I get off work. Last night was my choir concert, and I feel it went very well. I loved looking out into the audience and seeing Joe there. I got a little nervous when I was standing at the front of the stage, but Joe said he couldn't hear me over everyone else... so no need to worry. :)

OK.. lots of work to do

Crunch

228
Breakfast - Life Cereal Lunch - Beef Fried Rice and Egg Drop Soup Dinner - Leftover Chinese from lunch

Ohhh my abs hurt! I went to Jazzercise on Wednesday and Thursday! Hooray! It made me feel a great deal better. I've been in a big fat funk lately. Exercise really does help.

Ugh

Yesterday, of course, I didn't get a chance to post when I could have written
228

But nooooo today I have to write 231... damn delicious meatballs.