The former future president of the United States

G scored tickets to the Al Gore lecture on global warming last night. I was so excited to get to go. I rearranged my schedule, but then the guilt of it nagged me all night. It was a once in a lifetime event, so why did I feel bad? I suppose it is because I had two midterms today. However, I had studied all week and I studied all morning today. I am sure it had an effect on the evening. I was pretty quiet as well as a little snappish. G is a trooper and didn't believe me when I said nothing was wrong, but didn't push me either. If he had, I wouldn't have known what to tell him. I was very happy that he was here with me. I was so glad to just be there, to touch him now and then. He didn't need to entertain me or anything in particular. I just find his presence soothing. How girly is that? But then, I feel guilty for not being the good hostess. Does he like to just be around me the way I enjoy being with him? Who knows? Does all this thinking put me into the psycho chick realm? Kurt Vonnegut's uncle was right... we don't notice when we are happy. I was certainly happy last night, why couldn't I show it?

Teresa Update, October 2005

Wow, as usual, it's been a while since I posted. Many, many, many things have happened.

1. Classes seemed a bit overwhelming in the beginning, but I think I am getting a handle on it.
2. I met a man and for the past two weeks have had a wonderful time getting to know him. (We have actually been talking much longer than that, but things seemed to have really accelerated this past week.) It's strange. I really wasn't expecting anything to happen. I thought my life was too busy. However, it's true... you find the time when you want to see someone. What is different? He's his own person... he is compassionate... he can laugh at himself. Either I will date this man for a long long time or I will end up with another friend for life. Both ways... I win.
3. I have joined two honor societies at school. One is purely based on my GPA and doesn't seem to really do much aside from about 4 or 5 meetings a semester. The other is a political science honor society.
4. Today I am finding my serenity again for the first time since the summer. I am truely grateful.
5. I found out some information that explains a great deal about my family. You know, keeping things from people with the intent of protecting them really doesn't work. First, eventually they will find out and feel betrayed. Secondly, the person keeping the secret is still affected by it and acts in ways incongruent with the life they are trying to construct for the "protection" of the child. I am glad to know... but it just reinforces the fact that there are people in my life who could certainly benefit from therapy. (then again, who couldn't?)
6. G let me try on his bass guitar. I really want to learn how to play it. I kind of always have wanted to ... ever since I sang in a band when I first moved up here... well... even back when I used to go to Steve's band rehearsals.

These are things that I want to make time to do:

1. Work out each day at Curves
2. Practice piano
3. Take voice lessons
4. Volunteer/service (this can be done through my organizations at school)
5. Learn to meditate
6. Read more than just assigned texts
7. Spend time with G
8. Actually watch a DVD now and then
9. Go to karaoke with Jill and Kevin
10. Spend some time with Forrest, Christian, Darren, Jill and Stacy
11. Visit my Dad
12. Visit my Mom
13. Hang out with Bubba
14. Call my sister more often
15. Write more in French. I really enjoyed my little experience writing a french fable, as much as I whined about it. I wish I could get fluent enough that I could write creatively in French. Then again, I wish I had the guts to write creatively in English. I know I have the talent. God knows I have the vocabulary... so why am I such a coward? I suppose it's so personal... this from the girl who broadcasts her life on the internet!

Naughty Girl

I deserve to be punished... really I do... I haven't posted to this blog in nearly a month. That doesn't mean that nothing has happened.... certainly many things have.

I've dipped my big toe in the icy waters of the dating pool... and brr. You know... I am just feeling that way because I had a cruddy date yesterday. He asked me if I would write about him on this blog... and you know... this is all the acknowledgement he deserves. There's a thing called "tact." and I will leave it at that.

I finished summer semester, hooray for the big B+.

Classes start on the 7th. I will be taking the following courses:

Campaigns and Elections
PLSC-357-0
Political Science
Eric S Kos eric.kos@emich.edu

Democracy and Power
PLSC-420-0
Political Science
Eric S Kos eric.kos@emich.edu

French Composition
FRNH-343-0
Foreign Lang/Bicult Studies
Genevieve Marie Peden gpeden@emich.edu

Survey French Literature
FRNH-341-0
Foreign Lang/Bicult Studies
John Sanford Dugan jdugan@emich.edu


Also, I started working part time taking care of the Elderly for a company called Home Instead and for FedEx as a package handler.

Thankfully, the elderly care is ending next week. However, I will be a tutor at Eastern in English and French! Cool, eh?

OK.. that's the skinny on the fatty...later.

When it rains it pours

Breakfast - Life Cereal Lunch - Salad
I have been interviewing and sending out resumes since the day I moved here to Ypsilanti. Today I went on an interview for an admin asst. position in the technology dept at EMU. They practically offered me the job... however... I got a call from FedEx today with an offer for THAT job, which of course, I took. So... I today I had to call the Senior Care company I've been working for and let them know that I can only work on the weekends. Also, I had to send emails to all the other places that I had interviews scheduled with to let them know that I am no longer available. Pray for me that this all works out and that I make the right choices!

Oh... look, I have a Blog

Breakfast - Life Cereal Lunch - Salad Dinner - Cubed Steak and Corn

I've been catching up on sleep since I did that server install. I'll try to get better at posting here!

Tired

So I didn't leave that server installation job until 1045 this morning. (It started at midnight.) I am tired, but really grateful for the money.

This morning, I had a bowl of life cereal for breakfast, went to sleep until 7pm. Then I went to Curves and picked up some Chinese (seseme chicken and fried rice) for dinner. I am taking the leftovers with me to have as my third meal today (lunch?).

OK... lots to do, as I have to drive an hour to Sterling Heights tonight and I have to print up my paperwork.

Monday the 18th

Breakfast - yogurt
Lunch - Ham Sandwich
Dinner - Ham Sandwich/chips/ cottage cheese

I worked all night doing a server install and had the following snack since I was up all night:
strawberries/cream cheese dip
1 bag doritos

Also - went to Curves and had interview at FedEx

Sunday's food

Breakfast - none

Lunch - can't remember

Dinner - Ham Sandwich and chips

Snack - Caramel Sundae

Not much to say lately

Breakfast - Life Cereal
Lunch - Panera Bread - Roast Beef Sandwich with Horseradish, Chocolate Chip Cookie
Dinner - Hamburger Patty w/ cheese and A1, white kernal corn

It's just been hot! I have been getting caught up on study, looking for steady work and getting myself back on track with my food and exercise.

July 15 Food/Activity Journal

Breakfast - OJ and Life Cereal
Lunch - Ice Cream
Dinner - Hamburger Patty with onions, Peas and Carrots

Went to Curves, worked with senior care

Bastille Day - Julliet 14

Breakfast - Yogurt Lunch - Salad Dinner - Quiznos

Went to Class, Curves and Senior Care

Check in

Breakfast - Corn Flakes Lunch - Thai Fried Rice Dinner - Chicken Caesar Salad and Ice Cream
Went to Curves

Busy Good Day

232
Breakfast - Yogurt Lunch - Leftover Hamburger Helper Dinner - Chicken Caesar Sandwich at Panera/ handful of sunflower seeds

I went to Curves and OA today... had a nice dinner with a new friend. Had class and my midterm is coming up, so I need to get on the ball and do lots of reading.

Also, here is the most recent picture:

Most recent pic

The only man in my life has moved in with my Mother!

Malheurheursement, I am unable to have Willis at the new apartment and he has continued his stay at my mother's. Lucky guy, there's another kitten there and they have become friends. Here's my last picture of Willis just before I went to Quebec.

Host Family - Quebec

Here are the nice people who shared their home with me for the month of May in Quebec City!
From left to right: M. Poulin, ME, Randy (a University Student at Laval from Maine), and Mme. Gamauche

Livin' down the street from the big Phallus o' Ypsi

I bet you thought I'd gone missing. huh? Not a chance! I am still in the process of obtaining dependable internet access, rather than just the time that I sneak while working my various temp jobs.

Things, as always are in flux... but I wouldn't have it any other way! I've moved to Ypsilanti. I found a great roommate who I hardly ever see. In fact, he is going to be on a trip all summer! I can walk to school and hopefully to work once I find it.

Right! Back to it!

Holy Guacamole!

It's been a crazy crazy time in my life! I am currently in exile in Leslie MI. Actually, I am staying with my parents until I leave for Quebec on Sunday. As of Friday the 22, I was officially OUT of the Cacioppo nightmare!! Hoooray! I have put many of my things in my Dad's barn and the ones that need to be out of the heat/cold of outdoors are in a storage facility near campus. Through the gracious intervention of his mother, I've received the money Joe hadn't paid toward the credit card (well, 95%) and I am now back to being a responsible unemployed person. :) I guess you can say being a student is my job. I had a great experience with Kelly Services during this fiasco. They were able to place me on a second shift M-F 3-11 kind of thing and it was very stress free, casual dress at ProQuest in Ann Arbor. I am incredibly grateful to Mike and Shirley there as well as Pow for their understanding during my extrication from my mess.

Additionally, I learned so much during this experience. I am not bitter or angry at Joe. I feel really awful for him. I hope he gets help, because inside, he really is a beautful man with so much love to give. I am not sure what happened. After talking to his mom for hours (and she's a fantastic woman with a compassionate heart and soul), it doesn't seem like his other siblings have the same issues as he does. Poor Joe... he's really suffering. I had to protect myself, but I can't help but pity someone who acts as he does. So... that chapter of my life is essentially over and I am none the worse for wear. It really helped me to have a better sense of self as well as find strength I didn't know I had. The hardest part was keeping up on school. However, I was lucky to be in classes that I loved. Here's the verdict of Winter Semester 2005:


Appl Music Voice
B
Int French Reading
A
Intermediate French
A
Beginning Spanish
B

That brings my cumulative GPA to 3.7... Pas mal, n'est-ce pas?

I am thinking of taking a trip for spanish sometime during spring semester as well to get a jump on my spanish minor. (or possibly double major) Guatemala is looking the most affordable, program-wise... just the airfare is a killer!

I've been listening to many books on CD these days, a habit I picked up while I was working at ProQuest. (The computer work was very tedious and we were allowed to listen to headphones while working.) The first one was "He's just not that into you" It was funny, but made good points and was a good primer for getting back into the dating world. Obviously, the date I went on Friday night (yes.. already!) was created just to make that point. The guy was gaga over me the weeks before we met. (Yes... an internet date, ) He was very polite and seemed to be very open to talking about emotions, etc... However, my sirens went off when he would talk about going to the gym and running. He's lean... I am guessing that he doesn't understand how a person could ever possibly have a weight problem. However, I thought that was my paranoia talking, and that he had chosen to write to ME... so I should just get over it. We met in Ann Arbor at Miki.... very nice restaurant, btw. Things were pleasant enough, but he seemed distracted. It felt kind of like a business meeting. He was still in his work clothes, which were miles nicer than my student garb. (Even though I was in jeans, I'd worn nice accessories, done my hair, wore high heel sandals, etc.. and I'd told him this would be the case, as I AM a college student after all) I didn't feel underdressed until he said something like. "Oh, sorry I am so dressed up, I had to come straight from work." Anyway... I chalked up the occasional stare into space or awkward silence to the possibility that he might be nervous. That sometimes happens when guys who like me take me out. We went to get hot chocolate after, talked for a while, but he kept yawning. It was barely after 9 when I suggested that we call it a night, as he seems tired and he was supposed to be running a race the next day. He looked suprised, but said, oh.. yes.. yes.. you are right, then asked to walk me to my car. More talking, a hug or two, then he asked if he could call me Sunday. I said I'd really like that... again, I was chalking up the stiffness to nervous energy. He didn't call.

Monday, I got an email saying that he had a great time, but he'd been seeing a different girl and that they went out on Saturday night and he just thinks he likes her and won't be dating. That was their 5th date. Why the heck did he ask me out in the first place? Anyway... I am chalking it up to "no chemistry" and moving on. Well... not really MOVING ON to another date... just past the experience. I think I am good and well done with the internet dating thing. I am so great on paper... on the phone (and I think, in person) but all that stress of meeting after they have created their own image in their mind is never a good thing. I've honestly met some of my dearest and most loyal friends as internet dates... but I think the man for me, if there is one, is going to come about the old fashioned way...in person!

Speaking of those people.... Darren... are you still reading this blog? Say hey to Jill and send me your new address so you can get goodies from Quebec!

OK... I am off to buy a "Michgan" present for the host family I am staying with. Just a little token of appreciation... as if the money weren't enough. ;)

Weigh in

225

Cat got your tongue?

I know people look at my blog and yet, I never get comments... what's the deal?

Sanity is sweet

227
Hooray, I today is my 5th day of abstinance. I am feeling physically so much better. This week, I've been to Jazzercise twice and to Curves 3 times. I will go again today and tomorrow I will go to both.

I've been going through that stage where I get very emotional, as I am prone to do when first entering back into abstinance. Things I would usually eat over are now things I have to either let go or deal with when that happen. Otherwise, they pile up and I get moody and I don't know why. This explains the general funk I've been in the past few days as well as when that happened while I was first in school. I don't know why I didn't notice it before.

Progress is so nice...

Now and then it's nice to look back and see where you've come from. Just last November, I was a size 22... now I am a 16. This is my friend, Zerlina,and I at a work picnic where I wasn't even at my largest. Notice how I try to hide behind her!

This is me in December of 2001 when I went to the Bahamas with Dima. Lucky for me, they love big girls there! Holy crap, I'd actually lost my waist!!!

Everybody loves a baby in a hat

My niece, Samara on New Year's Day in the cute little outfit I got her for Christmas. The hat seems a bit big, looks like she's about to go play golf or sell you a newspaper... "read allll abouuuuut itttttt!"

Just now putting up the christmas pictures!!

These are pictures from Christmas Day when I went to my Dad and Sue's. Doesn't she have a gorgeous tree? I was very excited to get a cookbook. No, really! I'm all little miss domesticated these days! :) I've used it several times since receiving, too. Thanks Santa Claus!!

What a good lookin' man! See where I get my looks? ;)

These genes...

My senior picture - circa 1990

I come from a long line of pretty women. ;)

I know it's not a great scan, but this is a picture of my Mom when she was a senior in High School (1970):

And here's her mother, my Grandma Moore (sorry, took a picture of a picture and the flash made a big white spot in the middle:

My nephew the photographer

When I went up to Traverse City for the birth of my niece, I let my nephew, who is 9, run around with my digital camera. Check out this artistic shot he took... I think he was trying to see my tonsils. :)

OA

I finally went to an OA meeting tonight. It was one online. Tomorrow, Joe and I start our food plan. He asked for my help. I am so grateful that God brought me back to program this way. I've missed the serenity I had when I was abstinate from food. (Binges, planning/thinking about food constantly)

So... that's it for this post. Me... feeling good. :)

11. Learn Spanish

Progress report on 101 things to do in 1001 days!

My Spanish class started last Wednesday. The teacher, Mr. Gomez is quite a character. The other day I was commenting to Joe that the type of people who take Spanish appear to be quite different from those taking French. These seem to be more of the "just meeting the curriculum requirement" kind of folks. After a very serious "responsibility" speech from the professor on the first day, several dropped. Only a third of the students had even bought their books by the third day. At least I know the class should move slow enough for me. :)

17. Crochet a blanket for Samara

Progress report on 101 things to do in 1001 days!

Got started on this before Christmas, but then ran out of yarn. I am a little disheartened, though. When I saw my sister at New Year's, about 5 people had already made her baby blankets. Oh well... I guess you can never have too many, as baby spit-up is abundant.

46. Make one new dessert recipe a month

Progress Report on 101 things to do in 1001 days!
If anyone has any recipes to share, please feel free to leave me a comment!
January
Butterscotch Pie
This is just cook and serve butterscotch pudding in a pie shell. Joe's mom told me how to make it since it is one of his favorites. When I was baking the empty shell, I didn't know to poke holes in it with a fork first, so the dough collapsed into the pie pan and I had to start over. I did the second one right (Joe told me how) and the pie turned out well.

65. Quit my job

Progress Report on 101 things to do in 1001 days!
I didn't have to quit. :) The contract ran out early. I would take it personally, but it ran out early for the other guy who was making the higher hourly wage, too. I have been perusing the want ads for a part time job that would be worth my time and interesting, but I am in no big hurry. There was one for shoveling snow... That would help get me in shape. :) However, 2AM on a school night? Yeah.. right.

50. Kiss Joe on New Years Eve 2005

Progress Report on 101 things to do in 1001 days!
So.. one item foiled...

On my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days, number 50 was to kiss Joe on New Year's Eve. He was sick and at home. I was at my Dad's. So my New Year's Eve kiss was from my step-mother on the cheek. Better luck next year!